Hope Gets You Nowhere
by kage-bushin
Summary: Well, it was another less than fine day at the preventers HQ. In fact, it was less than an unfine day. So, as wufei sat in his small, cramped cubicle going through his latest mission, his mind began to wander, as it did most of the time when it rained lik


I do not own gundam wing. Dur. These characters do not belong to me. So there.

Hope Gets You Nowhere

Well, it was another less than fine day at the preventers HQ. In fact, it was less than an unfine day. So, as wufei sat in his small, cramped cubicle going through his latest mission, his mind began to wander, as it did most of the time when it rained like this.

He had never quite gotten over Nataku's death really. So, often she was the center subject of his mental wandering. In fact he was still rather devastated that he had recently been forced to part with the gundam that housed his late wife's soul.

During the war, she had given him strength when he was weak, and comfort when he was unsure. But, recently, she had been ripped from him because of a single button.

Sure, Sally was there, but she just did not compare to how deeply he felt for Nataku. He could never bring himself to let her go any farther than being a close friend. He couldn't let anyone closer than that until he had buried his tragic past, and that would take time, for his scars ran much to deep to ever fully heal themselves again.

The fact that she was dead was not what hurt the most. Mind you it did hurt, and bad. But the hurt that surpassed that of her death was that she had died without excepting him as her husband. That, more than anything, tore at his very soul.

He remembered the time shortly after her death. How he had always hoped that she would just walk right back into his life. It didn't matter how short their time was. It had mattered that they had finally acknowledged eachother.

Flashback

"Wufei…wufei! Pay attention! You cannot reject your studies! You have been practicing that martial arts mish-mash far to often these days! You need to focus on your books!" his teacher yelled.

Wufei had been home-schooled as long as he remembered, but lately, he was finding it exceedingly difficult to focus on his work. He could only think about Nataku-as he now called her- and how strong she had been. He only wished he could be that strong.

"I'm sorry. I'll try harder." Wufei stated.

"You had better if you want to get accepted into that university…but, tell me boy, what is troubling you?" his teacher asked.

"I am troubled by my weakness." Wufei answered. Unknown to his teacher- Mr. Watashi, that statement had many meanings. But people hardly ever took the time to really understand wufei, and that suited him just fine.

"Your weakness? You are the strongest member of the clan. How do you figure you are weak?" Mr. Watashi asked.

When wufei did not answer, he simply continued his teaching.

At night, wufei would sit in the lab, near the gundam that housed his wife's soul. He wasn't ready to call her his late wife' just yet. For he could not grasp that she was truly gone.

"Nataku…I am too weak. I could not protect you. So, how am I supposed to protect anyone else, if I can't even protect myself? You've been gone a long time, and I don't know where you are. When are you coming back?" wufei asked the gundam.

But no answer came. It never did.

"Wufei. Its time you put that girl behind you. Its been a whole 3 weeks since her death and-"

"Nataku is not dead! I don't want to hear it anymore!" wufei yelled, striking master o in the side, "she'll come back you watch!" and with that, he stormed out into the night.

"That poor boy. He still doesn't realize…"

End flashback

Wufei remembered those times like they were yesterday. He remembered how foolish he was, and how it always felt like someone were crushing his heart.

He had eventually been able to accept that she was dead. However, he refused to let her go completely. Wufei fully believed that she had resided in his gundam to this very day.

"Chang. Are you done with the report yet?" Heero asked standing in the cubicle door.

Heero had just recently joined the preventers and was working beneath wufei. However, he still badgered wufei about every assignment he was given. It was almost like Heero was working above him.

Wufei was not the only one Heero bothered either, which did not make him very popular around the office. But, no one really seemed to mind that much.

"Almost. I'll have it finished by tonight." Wufei answered. He hadn't realized Heero had been standing there and had no idea how long he had been doing so.

"Hn." Heero nodded in understanding, then curtly turned around and walked back to his office, but not without stopping at 4 or 5 other offices to see they're progress.

It was close to closing time and wufei still wasn't done with that report. "Heero's going to get on my case tomorrow…oh well I need some rest." Wufei said to himself while packing up.

"See you later Sally." Wufei said, waving his hand, walking past her office.

Unsurprisingly, she was engrossed in the document in front of her and would probably be pulling another all-nighter. Sally did that a lot.

"Huh? Oh! I'll see you tomorrow wufei." Sally said while getting up and giving him a friendly hug.

On the way home Wufei ran two red lights, was speeding the whole time, nearly ran over an elderly woman, and was currently being written a ticket for speeding.

"Son, do you have any idea how fast you were going?" the cop asked.

"I'm sorry officer, I'm not myself today. Could you please just give me a warning?" wufei asked.

"You were going 25 miles over the speed limit. I'm afraid I just can't let you off. The ticket is for 100 dollars. It needs to be paid by the 1st of June. Got it?" the officer asked handing the slip to wufei.

"Sure thing officer. Thanks anyway." Wufei replied flatly.

As soon as he hit home, wufei went strait for the fridge, pulled out a frozen dinner, and began to prepare it.

However hard he tried though, he could not help thinking that, had Nataku been here, she would have dinner already prepared for the both of them.

Once again, wufei began to remember things he usually blocked out…

Flashback

"Wufei! You must pay your respects to her parents! Why do you refuse?" someone yelled.

"You've all gone mad! Nataku isn't dead. Why should I pay my respects?" wufei said irritably.

"Son, she is dead. She died protecting you. And she's not coming back." His relative said.

"Your wrong! She will come back! If I hope hard enough, she will." wufei said, tears threatening his vision.

It had only been a month. She could still return, so why was everyone trying to rob him of his hope?

"Son, hope will get you nowhere. You cannot raise the dead, just as you cannot stop the sun from rising each morning. Its time you let that go. Or the hope will tear you apart."

Wufei was speechless. A part of him wanted to scream and yell and protest, but a larger part of him finally began to see the truth. Nataku was not coming back. She was dead, lying in a grave somewhere.

So, with tears streaming down his face, wufei paid his respects, and pledged that he would do everything in his power to bring justice to the colonies and earth.

End flashback

Wufei sat at his small square table, eating his instant noodles, and remembering how much that hope had hurt him.

But the memory that she was gone always lurked in the back of his mind.

And the pain in that memory was what he remembered most.

The End.

Authors note- well I was in a pretty depressed mood when I wrote this so I think it came out pretty good. And I've been meaning to write a wufei one shot for a while now. So yah. I feel like I've accomplished something now. Anywho, tell me what you think. "


End file.
